


Studies of the Heart

by R_squared



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: 221B Baker Street, Baker Street, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Detective Dads, M/M, Nervous John, Oblivious Sherlock, Secret Crush, Sherlock's Violin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 06:30:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10508211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_squared/pseuds/R_squared
Summary: Sherlock knows everything.Except how to tell someone how he feels and Johns done with waiting.





	

The afternoon had been passing on much like any other, Sherlock watched on through the window as the cars rushed noisily past on the road below the small Baker Street apartment. The violin pressed tightly against his shoulder as he swayed, filling the room with some new, elaborate and intricate tune he had composed.  
The rest of the world was mostly haze around him, blurring into unintelligible unimportance.  
Except for one thing.  
Sherlock never completely drowned out John's presence, no matter how hard he tried. Or at least he told himself that he tried. Most things came effortlessly to him but not this, not denying John access into his every conscious moment.

He had been listening to the tedious thud of John's shoes tracking back and forth through the kitchen for the good part of two hours now and it was beginning to become insufferable. Usually John was only annoying in fits and starts, a cup of tea here, attempt at unnecessary conversation there. Apart from the piercing tapping sound that emanated from his keyboard he was mostly quiet and Sherlock was endlessly thankful for that.

“John if you must stampede around the apartment can you kindly refrain from doing so while I’m present.. Or conscious.” He finally snapped bitterly towards the half open kitchen doors.

He watched as John stilled on the other side of the glass throwing himself over the back of the armchair and landing forcefully before laying the violin down with frustration as he awaited John's response.

After a few moments John straightened, tugging at the base of his shirt as he quickly moved to open the door.  
He entered the living area in a flash, determination set like steel across his heavy features as he approached the armchair. Sherlock watched on, little more than bemused by Johns actions, his finger tapped on the armrest which caught John's attention. He glanced down at the impatient gesture, taking in a flustered breath as his eye contact returned to Sherlock's empty face.

“I’m going to try something Sherlock.” His voice caught briefly in his throat as he begun.

“Alright.”

“I’ve been tossing up if I should do it or not,” He shifted in his place in that way he always did when he became emotional, almost seeming uncomfortable in the air that clung around him. It was a concept that while Sherlock did not fully understand it, he had learnt to pick up on the telltale signs. “I think it’s acceptable, well I know it’s _acceptable_ but what I mean is that I think it’s something that you want as much as I do. I can just never be sure with you..” His voice trailed off as he clearly battled with some inner thought that had just caught his attention.

“John.”

“Mm.” Johns attention quickly snapped back to reality.

“You’re rambling.”

“Yes, right. Well the point is that I’ve come to the conclusion that if I don’t do think then I’ll never know so...”

John took a sharp breath, flushing out the doubt from his mind as he leant down. His hands gripped onto the armrests either side of Sherlock's suddenly tense body. His fingers grazing Sherlock's skin as he folded his short fingers around the edge.  
The rest of the room faded out, even as Sherlock's eyes widened in anticipation his vision narrowed, solely focused on John inching ever closer.  
He tried to speak, to question John's actions but all the managed was a breathed garble as his lips fell open.  
Johns eyes drifted shut as he tilted his head to gently bring their lips together. Sherlocks whole body was frozen in place, fearful that if he was to move this illusion may shatter around him.  
Johns lips were soft and warm against him as they began to move, Sherlock did his best to match the movements but it was awkward and clumsy unlike Johns practiced yet unsure pace.

When John moved to deepen the kiss ever so slightly Sherlock felt his eyes flutter shut, his muscles loosening around the slow, deliberate exploration of his mouth.  
He reminded himself to breath again, working his lips cautiously against his partners, nervously avoiding making any advances that may be deemed unwelcome. His hands and body stayed glued in their place but he finally allowed his lips the ability to engage in the dance earning a low, breathy sigh from John.  
The pace quickened just a fraction, deep desire surging into the room, seeping into the air between them. Sherlock could feel the energy coming from John and it quickly had his stomach turning over on itself, excited nerves tingled every inch of his still unmoving body.  
As they continued to kiss Johns hot breath flowed into his mouth the taste clinging to his tongue and taking over his senses, sending his brain flying into overdrive.  
This was so different to anything Sherlock had ever come across in his life before and his mind couldn’t figure out how to process it.  
It was too much, if the world didn’t break around him than Sherlock just might, this was so out of the range of anything he could ever deduce would happen and that scared him. His mind became frantic, torn between his fear and his desire but he didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop.

Because above all else, this felt right.  
It felt like something that was broken inside of him was finally made whole and he never wanted to let that go. 

He felt the rough skin of John's palm cup around his cheek possessively, holding him firm against the longing of the kiss.  
A thumb rubbed over the smooth skin of Sherlock's cheek, easing the never ending scramble of thoughts crashing through his mind.  
It was so unexpected but yet there in John's hands, Sherlock felt like he should have been there his whole life. John was the missing part of the formula of Sherlock's very being and he was stunned that he hadn’t realised it sooner.

When John finally pulled away he left nothing but a wet sound and a pressing fire on Sherlock's lips behind. They both sighed deeply, staying close as their foreheads rested gently together. Neither of them were ready to open their eyes and reenter reality as their breathing steadied.

Then John was moving. Sherlock snapped his eyes open again to find that he was already back in his original position in front of him. It would have been easy in that moment to presume that no notable events had occurred except that John's body language was now much looser, relief plastered across his face. 

The world quickly filtered back into Sherlock's reality and he quickly began trying to piece together the different aspects of what he had just experienced.  
But try as he might, the closest he could come to making sense of the situation was that he had somehow fallen into another drug induced hallucination. That couldn’t be right though..

“Why did you do that?” He questioned, his brow drooped in deep contemplation.

“Because I wanted to.” John answered in a very matter-of-fact tone.

“I don’t understand. From what I have observed people generally only want to kiss other people if they are somewhat romantically inclined towards them.” Sherlock struggled, searching John for some logical explanation.

“That’s right.”

Helpful. As always. Sherlock thought.

“So.. Then this interaction would imply that you reciprocate my feelings?”

John steadied himself, remaining as calm as possible as the shock of Sherlock's confession hit him. He let out a small chuckle as a smile threatened to creep across his face when he continued.

“Well. That depends.. Are they the kind of feeling where you want to be kissed by me?”

“Yes.” Sherlock answered bluntly.

“Then I guess so.”

“Interesting.” He mused, his usual nonchalance finally returning having finally reached an acceptable conclusion.

“Okay,” John nodded. “Good. So this is something we can do now then? …. Kissing?”

“That was my understanding of the situation.” 

John gestured out towards him, struggling to find his words. “Why did you never say anything before? About how you felt.”

“You never asked.”

“Right, of course..” He accepted cheerfully. “I won’t be making that mistake again.”

“Statistically speaking it’s actually highly probable tha--”

“Will you for once, just shut up?” John asked, a grin beaming across his face as he leant in again, closing Sherlock's lips with his own, knowing that his request would be ignored.

John smiled into the kiss, smugly proud of his new trick to quieten Sherlocks rantings.  
The room fell into silence as they fell into each other's embrace, finally melting together as they were always meant to have been.


End file.
